Dear Facebook,
I'm just not that into you to you anymore... It's not you, it's me.
I've taken a few weeks break and the separation has made me remember things about myself that you'd made me forget. Being a bit of a list maker, I thought I'd just list some of them out for you. I'm sure I'll think of more going forward but for now...
1) I remembered how much I enjoy quiet idle time to watch people and just 'be'.
2) I remembered what it was like not to feel like I need to know the 'goings-on' of 300 people or be a bad 'friend'.
3) I remembered what it was like to read the news, if I bothered, and not feel the compulsion to 'respond' to it in any way. (I never wrote a 'letter to the editor' in my life, why do I need to share now?)
4) I remembered what it was like to forget my phone for hours because the only reason I need to check it is if someone actually contacts me. Like, personally.
5) I remembered what it was like to eat a meal, watch a sunset, watch a programme or a movie and not feel like I need to express my opinion about it to everyone I know.
6) I remembered what it was like to, when I see a person, actually be surprised by their nifty new hair cut or current bit of exciting news.
7) I remembered what it was like to speak more with my family and friends rather than to just superficially know their 'highlight reel' and hit 'like' and move on.
8) I remembered what it was like to, having expressed an opinion to a person in a conversation, not to worry the next day that what I might've expressed will have offended any other person by proxy.
9) I remembered my opinion, really, and that of other people, is ususally best left unexpressed in the first place and, if shared, it is really only impactful in any real way if I am speaking to one person.
10) I remembered that the people who really care about you are the ones you spend time, texts and conversations with outside of Facebook.
I had volumes of prayer about coming back at all by 'signing back on'? One day, towards the end of what I had initially decided would be a 21 day fast, I heard a small, clear voice say:
"Sometimes the best arguement is to disengage from the dialog. Silence can speak volumes."
So, I decided it was time to walk away from any real relationship with you Facebook. However, this isn't my first day at the rodeo... I am also old enough to remember good ol' MySpace. Yes, Facebook, MySpace used to do what you do but in a cooler way and with music. I remember when I first met you, Facebook, I thought "
What a lame platform that is. No one will ever leave MySpace for this sterile boring inception of social media....!" Which shows what I know about people I suppose. I eventually waded into your seemingly benign waters with the rest of America (then the world) because
my friends all did.
Good thing they didn't all jump off a cliff, right? Or did we all? The rules of social media being written, as they are, as we fly this plane. Anyway, so MySpace. When I left them for you, Facebook, being a 'one social media' kind of girl myself, I burned that profile to the ground. Meaning,
I deleted my profile. Looking back, I can't believe I did that because essentially all I did was to let MySpace own all that information without having any way to access it myself. WHY? What a silly, first social media experiment, rookie mistake. Because nothing that goes on the webs of the wide world ever really goes away.
So, this time I am keeping the power and keeping my account. Also, before I became jaded and realized we were all just feeding a monster that is bound to turn on us at any given moment, I posted quite a few grand memories on your sticky platform. Since you already own that information why should I not continue to share it with the 300ish people I am still friends with and let them see the memories too? I used to
*gasp* go to my good friends' childrens birthday parties and, as a sort of a gift to my friend, take oodles and oodles of photos because, as a mom to small kids myself, I knew how you might never get photos otherwise. I've also shared really old photos with far flung kin from the one paper copy of a photograph in existence (remember those days!!). I don't think it's fair for them to lose access to those photos just because I am not into Facebook anymore.
I'll take it a step further, Facebook, and tell you that
I plan to use you. I have a blog and any good blog has a Facebook page (sadly, you're that powerful...). So I am going to keep that too. I'll just consider it payment for all the data I naievely fed you for years.
You're welcome.
I might, from time to time, even come post a photo... Like a Christmas card photo. I will also dig into your vast trove of information and find out all my friends birthdays and put them in my phone calendar so I'll own the information myself. So I won't need you for that either.
For the most part though, Facebook, we are done. I am writing this as a proclaimation to both you and to myself and to my friends. My real friends in my real life out of your cancerous clutches.
It's been real,
but not really...
Regards,
Heather
PS I am posting this raw and as written mostly for my friends on Facebook as an explaination as to why I don't know that your dog had puppies or that you had an amazing lunch or a new haircut. Because I won't know... Please, do come and text me all about it. I'll be happy to hear from you!
XXOO
H
